Heads you win; tails you lose

Psalms 39:4 says, "O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!"

This reminds me of the game I used to play called “heads or tails.” Flipping a coin into the air, with roughly a 50% chance of it landing on heads, 50% tails, one of the participants comes out a winner and the other a loser.

Psalm 39:4 is like a heads or tails game to me; I can live by faith or fear! But unlike the game, I have some control over the winning or losing…let me explain.

The heads (faith) side: Over the years, I have tried to live with the end (my end) in mind. In my desire to live for God and impact my world for Him, I have tried to understand the reality that David talks about above. Knowing my end helps me to evaluate my life against the reality that I am only here for a fixed number of days, all short in terms of eternity. Hence, I am more prone to prioritize the things that truly matter. What matters most? Loving God and loving others. As a youth, I tended to live without this knowledge – thinking only about my own needs and desires; my end was not in my mind! However, in my twenties, I encountered this verse, and others like it, and I began to allow this truth to shape how I live each day. As I get older, this idea is becoming even clearer to me.

Unfortunately, there is another side of the coin; the tails (fear) side: In my weaker moments, I wrestle with the phrase, “let me know how fleeting I am.” I don’t like that phrase! Other translations use words like, “transient” or “frail,” I don’t care for those either. When I think about this verse in my flesh, I am afraid. It reminds me of the inevitable; my end is coming. Especially in my forties, I began losing friends to cancer or tragic accidents. In my weakness. these losses are like “shots across the bow” of my heart and mind; it’s like death is taunting me, “just so you know, I am coming for you, too!” (Evil laugh)

When I live in fear I lose; I experience anxiety and worry that robs me of energy I could use to please God, serve my family or world. In other words, fear brings stagnation to my spiritual growth by turning my attention away from faith and trust in God.

When I live in faith I win; I can pour my life out as an offering to God which brings a sweet satisfaction that I am pleasing my Lord, serving His purposes, and modeling faith to my children, church, and world.

Good news! Unlike the chances of the actual game, 50/50, I can influence the chances of landing on heads. The scripture says in Hebrews 10:17, “So faith (heads) comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” One thing I can do is to listen to the words of Christ. I can sit under His teaching, read and meditate on His words! I can also do what David said in Psalms 42:11, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil (tails) within me? Hope in God…” David is basically telling his soul to obey him…his soul can be a slave to truth and not the other way around! So, when I feel like I am landing on tails, I have a choice to tell my soul to listen up!

My prayer is that you and I will live in faith. Understanding the brevity of life will then prompt us to use the minutes, days, years that we have left to honor and serve the King.

Heads we win, tails we lose. We choose!

Heads you win, tails you loose

A look inside my journal...

I was stopped again in my spirit last night, as I prayed and thought about my day. Does that ever happen to you? I was stopped as I realized how easy I become religious; how easily I can go about doing the things I should...out of habit, without experiencing my Savior. I mean, I pray often, seek wisdom, desire to do His will, yet without intimately connecting to the True Vine. Does that even make sense to say that?

Some might argue, and I might be open to listen, that I desire what I can't experience until heaven. I am not saying that I always need to experience His presence, but perhaps what I am saying is, I don't want to go about "doing good" while not realizing that Jesus is with me. It would be like working alongside of others all day but not engaging in relationship...does that make sense?

All I know is, I felt as I prayed, that I had not had the awareness of or set my mind on Christ in that "relational" aspect. I remember the words of Christ in John 5:19, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise." I wonder if that is even possible for me, and to what degree? I know that Jesus is God and He relied on His Father in ways that I cannot in my humanity...but the longing yearns within me to experience some of that closeness with my Lord! I want to be like Jesus in His relationship with the Father while He was on earth!

There is a mystery to that, and cautions, perhaps. Yet I desire a closeness, meaningful work, and joy that comes from that kind of intimacy!

So my prayer today is; Lord, You promised to remain in me as I remain in you (John 15:4). Please help me to be aware of your presence and intimately converse and depend on you as I go about seeking to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which I have been called (Ephesians 4:1). I love you, Jesus.

I don't want to be religious, I want to be in relationship! Do you?