One-anothering your spouse...Doing the DIRTY work

In John 13:14-15, Jesus says, "If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you." 

It was expected in Jesus day, that a guest in your home would be offered water to clean his feet or perhaps a servant would be given the task as the guests arrived. It was a lowly job, reserved for the lowliest of servants. 

So, what in the world is Jesus doing in his final days on earth, stooping to wash his disciples feet? Well, he says he was doing it as an example for them to follow! Imagine how uncomfortable the disciples would be; the teacher is on the floor, stooping, cleaning, getting his hands dirty...example-ing! 

And then he says..."do just as I have done to you." Really Jesus?

So, can we humble ourselves with our spouse? Is there dirty work that needs to get done? Is the lesson of Jesus that we should wash each other's feet or is there more to it?

I think there must be more to it, since I have never walked into church or a person's home and been offered water for my feet. I can't just say, "well that one doesn't apply to me." :) While there are many valuable lessons that we could learn from Jesus' action, one that I don't hear very often is "how does this apply to marriage?"

What do you think was the key quality that Jesus was displaying? I think it was humble service! The Bible says, in a well known passage, that Jesus humbled himself as a servant...and that we ought to do likewise. (See Philippians 2)

Are there jobs that you just don't like to do? Are there some that you feel are beneath you? 

Honestly, there are jobs that I don't like to do. When my children were young, my wife had the primary responsibility of changing diapers - I joined in as long as I could keep my gag-reflex from overwhelming me! I can think of many times that I just said, "here you go, your daughter (or son) needs to be changed." At other times, a child may be sick in the middle of the night, "honey, it sounds like someone is getting sick..."(nudge, nudge) You get the picture. 

While I never thought those jobs were beneath me, there have been times that I have thought..."I have more important things to do." Ouch, that hurts to say that! I am glad that Jesus didn't say that!

I am blessed with an incredible wife. In retrospect, I think I have taken her humble service for granted. Over the years, she has demonstrated, time after time, the point of Jesus words, ..."do just as I have done to you." She has taken up her bowl of water, knelt down, served, and...exampled Christ to me. Somewhere along the way I began to take up my own towel, and kneel down to serve (nowhere near to her level, but still aspiring.) It is not just her example, of course, but my Saviors, that inspires. 

What does this kind of service look like in your marriage? Cleaning up after the children, the dog, or each other? As we age together, I know that there will be many other ways to humbly serve (come quickly, Lord Jesus!). Your marriage has its own "dirty work" that must be done...are you above it or ready to follow Christ's example?

Let me say it this way. When I am confronted with a decision that makes me want to say, "not me," perhaps I should stop and ask the question, "why not me?" Certainly, if anyone ever had the right to say, "not me," it would be Jesus. But, instead he stooped, he cleaned, and...he exampled servant-hood constantly.  And he asked us to model it for one another.

There are probably lots of better analogies and lessons and applications to be learned from Jesus teaching here. But if I am seeking to be the best husband I can be, and esteem and value my wife deeply, then it may just start with following Jesus example of doing the dirty work and humbly serving her.

Pastor Dave

"One Anothers" apply to marriage (and family) ...too!

One Anothering Your Spouse!

If you are like me, you have heard a sermon or two on the "one anothers" of the Bible. I love these passages of scripture like, "accept one another..." or "encourage one another" or certainly, "love one another." These truths give valuable instruction about how we are to live here on earth with, and express God's care for, the family of God.

Some years ago, however, as I was thinking about how to carry out these instructions with the Body of Christ, I had this thought, "shouldn't these one anothers first apply to my own family and especially my dear wife?" Since that initial thought, I have desired to think through how these truths apply to my marriage. I can't tell you how many times since then I have been interrupted in my spirit with that idea...and sometimes even before I violate one the one another commands with my spouse;)

Case in point? Have you ever noticed that sometimes we treat total strangers (or people outside of our immediate family) better than we treat our own spouses or children? We might show extraordinary kindness to someone in line at Starbucks who appears to be having a "tough day," and moments later be snapping at our spouse or kids in frustration for something totally insignificant. Maybe this does not apply to you, but I have both experienced this and have seen this phenomena countless times. I am assuming that you have as well, so I won't bother pointing out any other "hypothetical" situations:) The "why" of this might be an interesting topic to discuss in a future entry, but for now I am guessing that you would agree that it is God's desire that we learn to do the one anothers of God's Word with those closest to us, as well as the broader family of God. 

In my next entry, I am going to begin examining these "one anothers" of the Bible in order of their appearance in the New Testament. I am hoping that you will join me.

Ready-Made Prayer

Some years ago, a dear friend showed me a section of scripture that I have never forgotten. In fact, it has become one of those sections that I return to over and over. I call it a "ready-made prayer" because Paul prayed it for the Ephesian Church, and by simply changing a few personal pronouns, it can be a prayer for yourself, for your family, your church, or a person on the street!

The prayer can be found in Ephesians 3:14-19: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

So, here is the ready-made part. Insert your name in these blanks: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant _________ to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in _________ inner being, so that Christ may dwell in _________ hearts through faith—that _________, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that _________ may be filled with all the fullness of God.

I was reminded about this prayer again last night, as I had some friends asking what they might pray for, for me. Of course, I have all sorts of cares and concerns, hopes and dreams, pressures and anxieties, but what is the thing I need most? What is the thing, that if I had it, all of the other things would pale in comparison? The knowledge of the love of Christ and the expression of the love of Christ in my life! There is so much depth to this prayer, and it is worth the deep look, but suffice it to say that I want to know God's love! Don't you? 

When the Bible says to "know," it is not talking about a casual, half-hearted, or weak understanding. No, it is talking about the deepest and fullest kind of knowing. Maybe this will help me explain - This past weekend I hiked the Grand Canyon with some friends. I have been on the ridge of the canyon and observed the majesty and grandeur many times; it is an awesome sight to behold! But that is a shallow kind of knowledge compared to our descent on the trail towards the river! I was overwhelmed by the beauty. Every turn revealed another aspect of this wonder, and gave additional "experiential" knowledge! 

For several years after coming to faith in Christ, I had a view of God's love from the edge of this "wonder." It was an incredible sight to behold, and certainly worth the trip! However, as I gained an experiential knowledge of God's love, I was overwhelmed in a way I can't really explain. I knew something...and I wanted to know more! And the knowledge I gained, by the way, began to transform me in a way that a view from the edge could never do.

So, my hope is that you will pray for the ability to take the hike into God's love and that you will be empowered to this end. God's love is so much more wonderful than any trip to a Grand Canyon, and certainly Paul knew this...that is why he prayed this prayer for his Ephesian friends. Won't you do the same?

Desiring to really KNOW the love of Christ!